Facebook Friday

CW: I am so proud of my brave little Daphne. He has wanted to be her since before last Halloween. He was too nervous last year. He had a few moments where he was worked up about people making fun of him, but mustered up the courage to go for it. He held his little orange wig high today.

Roxanne: so awesome!!! to hear his drum beat and have the nerve to dance to it!!! and YOU rock mom for giving him that confidence. “you can be who you want for halloween kid” says way more than the obvious. :) i JUST found MY drum beat the last few years….. i kept dancing to others and wondering why it didn’t feel authentic. :)
Michelle: Go lil Daphne! You rocked it! (you too, momma!)
Michelle: “He held his little orange wig high today.” lol
He was awesome. Yours being a boy and mine being a girl makes me glad we didn’t have to duke it out over who was cutest;)
Marnie : Awesome, awesome, awesome! So glad he had the confidence and that you and Jim enforced that confidence :) and the “He held his little orange wig high today”… love it! Yay B!
Frances: Good for him for being so brave!
Kim: love it!!!
Amy: LOVE!
Chrissy:he is so cute !!!
Candice: I love it!

I have some really great friends and family. Thank you!

I’m trying to decide if  I want to post a little bit more about this. I’m on the fence if I should just let some things go or if I want to go into more detail. Do the two of you that read this have an opinion?

In case I do decide to leave it at this, let me say one more thing: for those of you that looked at my sweet boy in disdain this morning, or looked at me funny for “allowing” my son to be what he wanted to for Halloween, or made those snide and unnecessary comments- your lives are small, your tact is lacking, and you can SUCK IT!

About Sarah

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584 Responses to Facebook Friday

  1. Carrie November 4, 2010 at 6:59 am #

    I have been wrestling with this whole idea of gender and sexuality myself, with my 4 year old. He, unlike his older and younger brothers, is much more effiminate…loves playing with the girls and princesses and ALWAYS comments on how pretty the girls clothes are….so, naturally, I wonder.
    This post was so good for me to read.
    I don’t want to ever put my son in a box and tell him there is no getting out…this is who you are, or who we see you to be, so BE IT! I want more than anything for my son to be who HE knows himself to be…no matter if that makes society more accepting of him or more scrutinizing of him.
    It is just so hard to put into practice what you know is RIGHT because we have all these norms to be concerned with. Your bravery and moral virtue rings loud through your example. Thank you for standing up for HiS normal….and proclaiming that HIS normal is not for anyone else to judge.

    • JD November 9, 2010 at 2:22 pm #

      How about you tell your boy to be a man. Instead your letting him run you. And the “norms” you talk about are called biology. Seriously, you sound like a scared parent that needs to understand what LEADERSHIP is.

  2. Library Vixen November 4, 2010 at 6:39 am #

    Thank you for sharing you and your brave sons Halloween experience. Sorry to hear about the other parents, it is sad to see adults lacking such tolerance and passing it on to their children. Congratulations your son is strong, brave and doing what he wants, and I applaud you for allowing and encouraging him to do so.

  3. Tricia McDowell November 4, 2010 at 6:24 am #

    Kudos to you as a parent for letting your child be just that….a child! One with imagination and spirit and a sense of fun that so many seem to lose because of parents who freak at their boys at a dress up party or their girls climbing trees.

    The ABC parents I can’t find the words for what I want to say on them but shame on them will have to cover it. Somewhere along the line they forgot what being a kid is, what having and imagination is, and what being fun and creative and silly and a K I D is all about!

    And for the record…he looked awesome and you are awesomie!

  4. onesharpdude November 4, 2010 at 6:07 am #

    imagine the reaction had he shown up in blackface. although I doubt he will grow up to be a black man. funny that time changes how we look at things. conventional wisdom holds that wisdom is conventional.

  5. Jef November 4, 2010 at 5:49 am #

    Your are what it means to put love into action. Also I’m looking for a purple, zebra-striped handbag, JJx

  6. Tim Smeltzer November 4, 2010 at 5:18 am #

    You are a GREAT Mom, and you are raising a wonderful son. My seven-year-old is all boy, but I can’t imagine asking him to face the teasing and disgust of his friend’s mothers. I am certain that I would support him as you did. You and he are brave, and you are raising a confident and self-aware boy.

  7. JC November 4, 2010 at 2:34 am #

    My son is 18, and while I consider myself a young, hip and liberal mom… I wonder if I would have been this open or courageous or self assured. You guys rock. And your kid is so cute in that outfit. Anyways, total stranger here, but what a great story. Kudos to you!

  8. MaryMo November 4, 2010 at 1:30 am #

    Hey… so I read your tumblr post as a reblog, and I definitely liked reading what a great, supportive and nonjudgemental mother you are. That’s important and no matter what, all children need to be supported to follow their hearts.

    I just keep smiling a little at the thought that when your adorable kid turns 16.. 17.. 18.. at his birthday or coming of age party… or even 30…at his wedding(possibly to a woman) … that someone will inevitably blow up this photo. And everyone will laugh and chuckle at times passed, because there is a serious possibility that he grows up to be an intensely confident straight man.

    So, I wonder…if that’s the case… do you think you’ll let him read this? Not that you are leaning one way, but I feel a lot of this attention is concentrating on the sole outcome that your kid is gay.
    I knew a few boys who were interested in dressing up as girls. And just as you commented, many girls dress up as boys for Halloween. Heck, it’s a fashion trend for women to wear men’s clothing to work.
    I dated someone who had a “house-skirt” tailor made so he could be comfortable at home. He liked how comfortable it was in a skirt and was jealous that women got to freely prance around in them all day. He had no kinky cross dressing characteristics (that I knew of) and he was absolutely straight (as I can confidently attest to that).

    Anyway, very rarely do I think about what it will be like in 25 years when I go back and look at my blog… but it dawned on me to think about it when the thought of your son and what he might think when he looks back at yours came to mind… regardless of who he is when he’s 30.

    Just thought I’d share that revelation. I hope that you both laugh together, and he throws his arms around you and thanks you for letting him just be him.

    • Karin November 4, 2010 at 11:10 am #

      My uncle used to dress up in girls clothes and make appearances. Yes, when he grew up, his *sisters* blew up a picture that many, including those who live in his very small, very conservative small town, love. He makes regular appearances now, in wedding dress, and a gorgeous blue dress (with stilettos). Every where he goes, he gets more love. He looks great, too.

    • Josie November 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

      Yep, lol….my husband only had 1 older sister (5yrs age difference), no brothers. She and her friends used to dress him up and pretty much treat him like a doll, from babyhood and all through his younger yrs =)

      He is 29 now and his parents have a few pictures of them and their friends dressed in slips, boa feathers, pretty hats, purses, high heels…and a video of everyone, including my husband, prancing around. It’s so adorable.

  9. Jaxxy November 4, 2010 at 12:29 am #

    …here’s one more shout out from someone you don’t know….but please tell your son my roommates and I adore his costume! It’s incredible! I hope he’s not feeling any regret from the A, B, & C moms.

  10. Kelsey November 3, 2010 at 11:45 pm #

    How amazing! This really makes me happy, i’ve always hated the fact that gender has locked us in certain areas and if we slightly go out of those areas, we’re labeled. You go, Little Daphne! You’ve got a great mom!

  11. Amanda November 3, 2010 at 11:42 pm #

    Your little boy is awesome. It’s great that he has an equally awesome mom who lets him express himself in whatever way he chooses to for halloween. My best friend as a child dressed as a boy all the time. her mom let her have male haircuts and wear boy’s clothing. She made everyone call her LukeGarth (Luke from star wars, garth from wayne’s world.) this went on until she was about 8 or 9. It was so cool that her parents let her express herself even though people made fun of her. She has since grown out of it and didn’t turn out to be a lesbian. My little brother dressed in my sister’s clothes all the time as a youngster as well. Freedom of expression is a wonderful thing :) Good for you! You and your kid ROCK! :)

    • Dani November 4, 2010 at 3:36 am #


      I dressed as a boy for a period in elementary school too and had short hair. That was the time I stopped going by Danielle and started going by the more ambiguous Dani.

      My mom always wanted me to be more “feminine” but never forced it on me.

      I outgrew my boy phase. I’m not gay (though really I don’t believe in such labels but more in a spectrum of sexual preference…I’m open to fall in love with anyone but that’s neither here or there). I’ve always been very self-confident even though I was made fun of and am just who I am, whether that’s 5 year old Danielle dressing up as a princess, 10 year old Dani who felt proud when other kids didn’t know if she was a boy or girl, or 25 year old Dani who struts around in zombie high heels.

      Kids should be allowed to explore who they are, they may have to deal with discrimination from others but should never have to feel it from their own parents.

  12. Johnny November 3, 2010 at 11:38 pm #

    YOU ROCK MAMA! I just wanted to give you my SUPPORT..
    I’m a gay dad with 2 boys (6yrs old and 4yrs old) They both went to a preschool at a unitarian church (one now in kindergarten). My boys were alot more fortunate, the other parents are very cool. And there are other gay parents at this school as well. According to your Christian mom’s I guess I should be concerned that my youngest is going to grow up to be a superhero… (he loves to wear his cape… and be BATMAN).

    There are many other like minded parents… Regardless what your child becomes as an adult (gay or straight). What you do now to support him/her will last. Stay true to your beliefs.. KUDOS!

  13. gem November 3, 2010 at 10:47 pm #

    Wowie zowie, I’ve watched your other entry go from having 200 comments to over a thousand in the past hour. If I’m overwhelmed I can only imagine how you must feel. My 17 year old daughter found your story about Boo and his Halloween costume and sent me your way. She came out to me as bi a few years ago. One way we keep the lines of communication open between us is by sharing interesting tidbits we find online. Thank you so much for sharing your son with us. You clearly are someone who is making a difference in this world.

  14. Linda Drummond November 3, 2010 at 10:43 pm #

    What a great mother, with a fabulous kid who’ll know that he’ll be loved and cared for no-matter-what. If only more parents were like you.

  15. Adam Scott November 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    I love that you allowed him to dress like what he wanted and to use his imagination. I love Halloween. Mostly because it was a family time to dress up and expand on your imagination. I am personally both straight and a Christian. I also manage bar on bourbon street that is and has had a mainly Gay client base for years. I love my regulars and they love me, they know my fiance. I am sorry for these women AB & C who are so caught up with their own insecurities and short comings as parents that the feel the need to interject their opinions into your life.

    Keep on Rockin’ Momma – and Little Daphne too.

    I dressed as Snidely Whiplash and Amy wine house. eyelashes and all. :)

  16. Casey November 3, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    So what’s it feel like to have your post gone viral on Facebook? Congrats!

  17. Travis November 3, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

    Thank you so much! You and your son are SOLDIERS! No matter where he goes in life or who he becomes he is definitely going to be a strong person and do whats right NOT what is expected or popular. Not only did he do something brave for himself but I am SURE he set an example for his classmates that they will remember for years.

    -I wore rainbow brite Velcro sneakers my first day of kindergarden….I loved them.

    Thanks again,


  18. Travis November 3, 2010 at 5:56 pm #

    Thank you so much! You and your son are SOLDIERS! No matter where he goes in life or who he becomes he is definitely going to be a strong person and do whats right NOT what is expected or popular. Not only did he do something brave for himself but I am SURE he set an example for his classmates that they will remember for years.

    -I wore rainbow brite Velcro sneakers my first day of kindergarden….I loved them.


  19. Matt B November 3, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

    AWESOME!!! wish my mom were as supportive as you are!

  20. chellebella November 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm #

    I’m with Tara! Let’s all meet on the playground after drop-off!! ;) . . although, I might get my a$$ kicked! (And I’m sure more than 2 of us read it!! We ♥ you!)

  21. AJ October 30, 2010 at 6:34 pm #

    it’s a halloween costumel, I think some people need to lighten up. He is obviously creative and totally pulled it off.

  22. Rachel October 30, 2010 at 9:49 am #

    He looks adorable! I know I’ve said this before but if it’s okay for grown men to dress in drag for Halloween then why is it weird if a little boy wants to? He’s lucky to have a mama that encourages imagination and open-mindedness.

  23. Average Jane October 30, 2010 at 6:22 am #

    Yeah, we want to know more!

    • Marnie October 30, 2010 at 9:26 am #

      MORE… why are you keeping us in suspense?!

  24. Tara October 30, 2010 at 6:19 am #

    Amen Girl! But I told you yesterday, I’ll be glad to help take down a few people for you. I may be fat and slow, but I can handle an ankle tackle for the two I have in mind. Just know that you proved to B once again that he has your unending support no matter WHAT he wants to do. And he won’t forget it. =)

  25. Kim October 29, 2010 at 9:34 pm #

    Of course we want more details!


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