Nerdy Apple’s note:
When this post went viral, my whole family was affected. To say it was a crazy, surreal time would be an understatement. Before the post went viral, the Detective knew I had a blog, but didn’t read it. He didn’t even know the URL if I’m not mistaken. He didn’t need to read it. He lived it with me. When it started getting big, I called him, my mom, and my mother-in-law to tell them to read it. I felt better knowing I was the one to bring it to them, not a stranger or a reporter looking for a comment.
That post led to thousands of emails, comments, calls to my house and even family members’ homes. We were all running around like chickens with our heads’ cut off. The Detective was there. Every. Single. Step. He was supportive. He was kind. He took care of all the tedious, daily chores that needed to be done while I tried to stay on top of the whole thing. Whether I was successful at that is debatable, but he did everything right.
There were several comments that alluded to the fact that I must be a single mother, there obviously wasn’t a father figure in the picture, if there was a father around he must be weak, whipped, or clueless. I call bullshit. This man, my husband, is here. He is the strongest man I know. He is not clueless. What he is… is a father. And a damn good one.
I asked him if he would write about the ‘Daphne Debacle of ’10.” That’s the only prompt I gave.
Here is what he has to say, in his own words.
My wife and I have been married for over 13 years, and we have known each other for more than 17. My wife is a wonderful mother to our 3 beautiful children. She is my best friend and is the funniest, smartest and prettiest woman I have ever met and I am proud of her. I am not a writer. I am not computer savvy. Until recently I had never paid attention to things such as viral posts, blogs, social media, etc…
As readers of her blog, you probably know I am a police detective. I work and live in a city that I love. Between my family and job, I feel that I am a lucky man.
I was not at the school the morning that my wife dropped our son off for his Halloween costume party, and when she called me later that morning and told me what had happened, I was saddened to hear the comments were made in the presence of our son because kids listen to adults, even when you think they are not. The way we behave and speak in the presence of our children influences the children’s life, both positively and negatively.
If someone grows up in a house surrounded by hate, bias or fear, there will be a good chance that the child may grow up to be affected by those traits and emotions that came from their upbringing.
My wife documented most of our day to day events on the blog. She had been writing her blog for years, which seemed like a creative and expressive way to share pieces of her life with her family and friends, documenting our lives like a virtual scrapbook. I then had a crash course lesson in learning what a viral post was.
The majority of the emails and messages she has received from thousands of people have been positive and wonderful. One of the reasons I love my wife is that she doesn’t dwell on the few hateful messages she has received, usually spewing hate and ignorance.
I read the blog and I have read many comments that express shock that she has a police officer husband that would be ok with having a son that wore a girls Halloween costume. I don’t know why this needs an explanation, but if anyone needs one, I do not see anything wrong with a child dressing as whatever he or she wants. I do not think wearing a costume magically will make someone “turn gay”, any more than someone swimming in a lake will turn them into a fish. And on the topic of homosexuality, if any one of my children (or friends or family members…) were gay, it wouldn’t change the way I feel about them any less. Unconditional love doesn’t have a clause to it.
I love my family and I support them unconditionally.